Jeannie Mendez was the cutest, friendliest, and most popular little girl. Mentiras. Jeannie was loved by everyone way into high school. As far as I knew, she had no enemies, and you know how bitchy girls in high school can be. (Insert evil laugh here.)

Jeannie and I were in the same homeroom one year in elementary school – either first or second grade. We were friendly, but she wasn’t my best friend. But, oh how I admired her and wished I was like her.

I wasn’t. She was the right size for that grade. I was taller than most kids, being a September baby and all.

Jeannie had long, brown hair. I touched it once (don’t recall why), and it was so soft. I, on the other hand, walked around the house with a towel draped around my head, hanging below my shoulders. I pretended my Cher-like hair was just too much for me, and I just had to swing it behind me.

Jeannie giggled when she found something funny. I cackled. Que pena. Eso nunca se me quitó. But the best thing about Jeannie was her smile. That pinche smile made her even prettier.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always liked Jeannie. I wanted to be part of her circle of friends. Todas bien cute que estaban. Nomás no se me hizo.

Then picture day came along. You know what’s coming, right?

As luck would have it, the teacher put me right behind Jeannie when she lined us up. And Jimmy Torres was behind me. Jimmy was what people nowadays would consider my bully. Seriously. If someone had interviewed me when I was a kid using the Bully Assessment Flow Chart, his antics would have definitely been classified as bullying.

But back then, you just had to manage. I cried and all, pero ni modo.

Anyway, there we are. Jeannie. Me. Y el cabrón de Jimmy. Jeannie and Jimmy were talking and laughing, and yo toda cagada.

I mean, I knew there was no way I would look cute in my blue stretchy polyester dress that was still bien apretado en las arcas. And I knew too that pinche Jimmy would make fun of me.

I was gacho nerviosa.

So, it was Jeannie’s turn to pose. She was all smiles as she walked to the stool. The photographer asked her to sit nice and tall. Then she had to turn her knees slightly to the left. Put both hands flat on your lap, please, pretty girl.

She looked adorable. The photographer knew it. She knew it. I knew it. What else?

And just when the photographer counted to three, Jeannie topped herself. She bit her LIP! Nada como sexy pedo ever so slightly as she smiled.

What!

N’ombre.

It was now my turn. Only a second before I had been feeling confident. I knew exactly what the photographer wanted and wouldn’t have to stay on the stool a second longer than necessary, denying Jimmy a reason to cagarme el palo.

Ni modo. Ay te voy pa’ la silla all Sweaty Cunningham.

Sit nice and tall. Check.

Turn slightly to the left. Check.

Hands flat on my lap. Check.

Pretty girl, Sir?

One. Two. Three.

Not to be outdone by Jeannie in front of Jimmy, I went for it. I bit my bottom lip. Perfect! At least that’s what I thought, although I distinctly heard Jimmy cackling when I stood to walk away. I assumed it was just Jimmy being pinche.

Needless, to say, once Mom saw the picture, she had a fit. It had been Jimmy’s torment that made me do it, but she didn’t want to hear any of that, and I ended up taking a retake. You want to see it, right?

I saved that God-awful picture. In my baby book, no less. Don’t really know why because it remained a sore spot for most of my life. Eventually, I gave up trying to be Jeannie’s friend. I was too embarrassed. To me, EVERYONE knew about the picture. Jeannie must have, too.

I went through a few more years of torment from Jimmy, so I grew to hate him well into high school. But I still like Jeannie. She was always a sweetheart with me.

She still is. We have seen each other a few times since high school. Recently, we met up a wedding.

“Carmen, let’s take a picture,” she told me.

“Ay Jeannie, if you only knew what’s racing through my mind right now,” I said.  “But I’m going to sit down, so my pansa won’t show.”

Jeannie came out as cute as ever. Y yo con mis tres chins. Que pena.