Back when Mom and Dad could still walk and drive, they’d go out for breakfast at a local restaurant. One morning, as Mom was getting dressed in her room, Dad walked past the door and to the truck outside.

            As they drove to the restaurant, Dad turned to her and said, “Huele bien fea es cosa que te pusiste.” He was talking about the lotion she put on just before getting into the truck.

            Mom couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. To top it off, he had caught her off guard. She always made it a point to be ready for anything when she was around Dad because he always managed to say something that would piss her off.

            “I was more mad at myself for accepting the invitation to go out to eat,” Mom recalled. “How could I be so stupid?”

            And right then and there, Mom began plotting her revenge.

            During breakfast, she didn’t even speak to Dad. “I’m going to get him back,” she thought to herself. “I’m really going to let him have it.

            After breakfast, Dad took Mom home and he went to work.

            “Pinche viejo jodido,” she told her herself, “I’m really going to tell him off when he gets back.”

            Dad returned from work late that afternoon, and found Mom reading on their bed. “Ten,” he said as he handed her an H.E.B. bag with something inside. Still pissed, Mom took it from him halfheartedly. She had no intention of giving him the satisfaction of looking inside the bag or asking what was in it.

            “Te la cambio por la mugre chingada que tenías en la mañana,” Dad told her.

            Now Mom had to look inside the bag. She was surprised to find an expensive tube of hand cream.

            “¿Y para que quieres la que tengo yo?” she asked him.

            “Para ponérsela en las patas de mis gallos para que no se les suban las mugres de mites. ¿Como se llaman esas mugres chingadas?” Dad told her.

            Once again, Dad caught Mom off guard.

            “Pero no me quedó más que darle la crema mía para que la usara para sus gallos.”